created memories

I was listening to an old RadioLab about memory the other day. They talked about how memory isn't static—one doesn't just pull up an old file from their hard-drive/brain and check it out. When you remember something, you are recreating that experience in your head. So every time you remember an event, it becomes more and more distorted.

This got me thinking about the memories that I have that I am fond of. I'm sort of okay with the idea that the good things keep getting better in my memory while the bad things sort of fade. (Of course, not totally. Plenty of terrible memories remain very vivid when they come up, and still make me about as anxious as a new mistake/sadness/failure/etc.)

So I thought I'd write down some memories as I currently have them. Mostly they are about my first memories of someone who is now important to me. But not everyone who is important to me has a first memory. Some seem to have just snuck into my life. I remember significant moments with them, but not the first time I saw them or the first time we talked.

John, for instance. I met John sometime during my first year at Oberlin, probably toward the end, through my TIMARA major roommate. From what I learned about him later, I think he lived in Barrows or Dascomb, and had a crew from his dorm that he mostly hung out with. But I can't remember how we first met. We dated for most of our second year and a sliver of our third, and I remember quite well my version of the evening we started dating. We'd been running around with friends all night, and they mysteriously disappeared. To leave us alone. And so he started to say good night, that he was going to bed, and I said "Really? Because I was going to make out with you." And then we kissed.

In my head, it was my most badass move ever. According to John, though, it didn't happen. Which is confusing. Because I'm pretty sure that's what I said. Somehow we both acknowledged a mutual attraction and became a pretty ridiculous couple almost immediately. But it's not clear who said what to whom, since John doesn't remember the badass line that I've thought was mine for the longest time.

Smaller snippets are harder to dispute. The first time I met my college roommate, Katelyn, I was late to move in. She couldn't decide what to do about picking the inner or outer half of the room, but finally decided she needed to get unpacked and picked in inner half. When I showed up, she was in her room, sitting on her bed cross-legged with her long dyed-red hair over her shoulders. I think one of my first reactions to meeting her in person was just that she was very skinny. Thankfully I don't think I said anything, and we started talking and became the best of roommates.

I met Solon the second day of orientation. In our hall meeting, we had introduced ourselves & said what degree programs we were in. Solon's quad came to the meeting late, and was definitely one of the more attractive groups on the floor. When our slacker RA went over the pet policy, we talked about getting a floor galapagos turtle to roam the halls. The next day, I knocked on Solon's door and asked if he was planning on going to the Double Degree pizza dinner. He was, and he and I and his transfer-friend Gabe (who transferred back to Brown at the end of orientation) went to the dinner and then walked around campus for a while. I vaguely remember sitting near the Con pond and laughing with them.

The first time I met Ben Jones, it was interviewing him for his job as VP for Communications. It was in the Cox conference room, and I was sitting with my back to the windows, facing the door. He was at the head of the table. I was the Senate Liaison at the time, and remember asking him for his advice in communicating with ResEd about a survey of the RAs we were planning. The meeting lasted forever. In my version of the story, maybe three hours, whereas the other candidates had had normal meetings, maybe 45-50 minutes. Ben Jones was definitely the winner.

I remember the first time I met Sam, and the second, but not the third. As a prospie, I was in Oberlin for my audition, and talked to a current student in the Con Lounge for a long time after my audition. I was staying in Lorain, and was planning on having dinner in Oberlin and then catching the LCT back to the Motel 8. (At the time I didn't realize how crazy this was. If I met a prospie who was doing this alone, would tell them they were crazy.) Eventually it got late enough, and this student (a senior, I think) invited me to Outback Steakhouse with him and several of his friends, including Sam. We had ribs and great conversation, and it was one of the more un-Oberlin experiences I've had. After dinner I declared that I would be coming to Oberlin. Good thing I got in.

The second time I met Sam was when he was in my aural skills (or possibly theory) class for one day. He didn't recognize me, and I decided that he sucked.

I don't remember the next time I met Sam. He was in my opera theater classes starting my second year, and became great friends with my friend Kevin. So I'm under the impression that Kevin re-introduced me to Sam at some point, and this time the meeting stuck. Sam has told me that the first time he took note of me was when I performed Schubert songs in a departmental recital my second year. I couldn't explain that performance even right after it happened, so explaining it now seems out of the question. I just lost track of everything during that performance. I started singing, and then all of a sudden it was over. I've never been less self-conscious during a performance. I can recollect no chattering internal dialog. I have no idea how that happened at my first public performance at Oberlin, and I wish I knew how to do it again. But they cheered a lot at the end, and I could tell that I had done well, but I honestly don't remember what I did.

Mmmmmmm. Soaking in my romanticized, confused, re-created past.

Do you remember how we met?