Weddings Planning!

My best friend Stephanie is getting married in a few weeks. She’s from Lafayette, California, and the groom, Chris, is from Kansas City. They were living in Wichita, Kansas up until a few weeks ago, so a lot of the planning was done by Stephanie’s parents, both of whom still live in the East Bay.

I was invited along last night to a wine tasting & choosing session hosted by Steph’s dad and stepmom. There were 6 whites and 6 reds to choose from, and each was placed in a numbered paper bag for fairness’ sake. The wines were served in flights, so we argued about whether 2 or 5 or 3 was the best, and went back a tried them again, and talked about smoothness of finishes or sweetness or general boringness.

Only one person of the 10 present was a white wine drinker, and that was Stephanie’s mom. So as we all argued about which was the least bad (all were bad compared to red wine for the majority of us), Janet was the single person who actually would be drinking the white. So her vote counted magically for more, but how much more was unclear. The decision for whichever number we chose (I can’t remember for the white) was made somehow through consensus and beating down the minority opinions.

The red was a better-informed decision, since it was the wine of choice for many of us. (Personally, I still would rather just drink a good beer most of the time.) Number 1 was just terrible, 4 got the most overwhelmingly positive initial reaction, and 6 was the bride’s fave. We slowly winnowed the decision down to 3 or 4 (No. 6 being cut by several of the bride’s family members), and somehow arrived at 4. She was disappointed that 6 lost, since it was an organic wine, and she’d like to have as many parts of the wedding as possible be local and/or organic.

I have never been to an actual wine tasting, but this was a hilarious introduction to comparing various wines. Since it’s for a wedding and must be purchased in bulk, none of the bottles were over $10 (or at least I believe so). Tasting wine with the intention of picking a single red and a single white made for a very different experience, especially with seasoned wine drinkers around the table—much more combative.

It was also a strange introduction to the dynamics of wedding planning. I think this one has its own quirks since the bride’s parents are both local but no longer married, and the bride’s mom is doing much of the planning, and the wedding ceremony and reception are taking place at the father-of-the-bride’s house. (And the bride’s childhood home.) Who is the final decider for what aspect is not always clear.

Another friend of mine is getting married in November, and he’s taken the position that weddings are really for the parents of the betrothed. The marriage is for the folks getting married, but the party and the ceremony are really for the happiness of the parents. Stephanie is definitely doing some compromising, but is also taking the reins for certain aspects, like music and cake and food, and that seems to be going pretty well. It seems like for some folks, the marriage must seem like a piece of cake after the stress of wedding planning.